Books I Am Reading

Fear of Dying.
It seems that what I am mostly doing on this blog page is writing a blog based on what I am reading at the moment. So, I am reading two books just now. The first is ‘Fear of Dying’ by Erica Jong. She wrote a very well-known book called, ‘Fear of Flying’ which is how I had heard of her before reading this current book. It is a novel, but it feels a bit autobiographical. It is based on Vanessa, as she watches her aged parents fading whilst feeling that her own best years are behind her, and feeling that she wants her youth back. The book says that endings are harder than beginnings. Vanessa finds that she craves sex, love and connection and is struggling to find them I guess before time runs out. Fear of dying seems prevalent out there but largely unspoken about. Nietzsche says that ‘death anxiety is the mother of all religion.’ I’m inclined to agree with him. Some religion seems to be based on death not being the end but an eternal life being next. Millions have believed in this despite the lack of evidence. Religion also seems to revolve around creating meaning for life, something that I think it fails to do. Maybe the best we can do is just say that death is part of nature, and therefore natural to die, accept its inevitability, and make the most of life while we are here. Easier said than done of course.
They **** You Up.
The other book is, ‘They **** You Up,’ by Oliver James. This concerns itself with what your parents did to you. It contends that we are not predominantly the victim of our genes, but the way we were cared for in our first 6 years has a crucial effect on who we are and how we behave. ‘Childhood experience dominates our choice of friends and lovers, defines our interests and professional drive, and even determines how prone we are to emotional and mental problems. Nurture shapes our nature.’ I identify closely with much of what I have read so far, and feel that I have been working for years to undo some of the negative constructs I have developed in childhood. Religious indoctrination and its moral values have been a burden through the decades, which I feel I am only now fully divesting myself of. Accepting myself and who I am along with my own beliefs is only happening late in life, thus demonstrating to me that I was ‘****** Up,’ just like everyone else.