Anxiety

ANXIETY:

In this blog I am inviting comments from people, whether counsellors or clients. The subject is anxiety. I would like to read your descriptions of your anxiety experiences, but I am interested in anxiety which is debilitating in some way.

I have suffered from anxiety on and off throughout my life. It has been crippling at times, occasionally leading to vomiting or panic attacks. The worst experience about 20 years ago was when my perspective became 2 dimensional, literally seeing things flat instead of in 3 dimensions. I felt my brain was disintegrating somehow and I didn’t know what would happen next. I was not depressed.
Anxiety is just a word, so one can say I’m suffering from anxiety. It’s like saying I’m suffering from depression. It does not really mean anything. We can use various descriptors like, frightened, scared, feeling faint, pins and needles, terror etc. None of this seems to get across the full force of it to me. Saying it will not kill you and it will pass doesn’t help me. I’ve tried to convey the worst of the anxiety I have experienced and it is very difficult. Below is the Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale 0 to 4, 4 being the most severe. It has been used for decades and is meant to quantify anxiety. I am trying to find ways of saying what it feels like, and I am trying to get a sense of what it feels like for other people, and this scale doesn’t do it for me.

I’m interested in people who can write good descriptive English that tells you how it feels. Descriptors and scales do not do this. What I came up with today for me to try and get the intensity of my own experience across was thinking about something else, i.e. the migraines I have suffered over the years. My worst migraine would be a severe headache centred in my right eye, vomiting and confined to bed for 48 hours and feeling that this had gone on for a lifetime. I have to say, I would rather suffer this than acute anxiety. I know where I am with a migraine. I know the worst it can do. With anxiety it always feels that it can only get worse and it will never end.
So, what is your experience?

 The Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale.
1. Anxious mood: Worries, anticipation of the worst, fearful anticipation, irritability.
2. Tension: Feelings of tension, fatigability, startle response, moved to tears easily, trembling, feelings of restlessness, inability to relax.
3. Fears: Of dark, of strangers, of being left alone, of animals, of traffic, of crowds.
4. Insomnia: Difficulty in falling asleep, broken sleep, unsatisfying sleep and fatigue on waking, dreams, nightmares, night terrors.
5. Intellectual: Difficulty in concentration, poor memory.
6. Depressed mood: Loss of interest, lack of pleasure in hobbies, depression, early waking, diurnal swing.
7. Somatic (muscular): Pains and aches, twitching, stiffness, myoclonic jerks, grinding of teeth, unsteady voice, increased muscular tone.
8. Somatic (sensory): Tinnitus, blurring of vision, hot and cold flushes, feelings of weakness, pricking sensation.
9. Cardiovascular symptoms: Tachycardia, palpitations, pain in chest, throbbing of vessels, fainting feelings, missing beat.
10. Respiratory symptoms: Pressure or constriction in chest, choking feelings, sighing, dyspnea.
11. Gastrointestinal symptoms: Difficulty in swallowing, wind abdominal pain, burning sensations, abdominal fullness, nausea, vomiting, borborygmi, looseness of bowels, loss of weight, constipation.
12. Genitourinary symptoms: Frequency of micturition, urgency of micturition, amenorrhea, menorrhagia, development of frigidity, premature ejaculation, loss of libido, impotence.
13. Autonomic symptoms: Dry mouth, flushing, pallor, tendency to sweat, giddiness, tension headache, raising of hair.
14. Behavior at interview: Fidgeting, restlessness or pacing, tremor of hands, furrowed brow, strained face, sighing or rapid respiration, facial pallor, swallowing, etc."[7]